Denial and its process

It has been some time,
Way back during month of white blankets,
that was the last time I saw her,
Also was the last time I heard her voice,
Seconds went by,
Minutes went through,
Hours went away,
Days was just counting,
till Months was accumulated,
All the trial was effortless,
On the verge of denying her existence,
On the verge of making her transparent,
I thought I was successful,
Yet one day,
I stubbornly strolled her page,
As I read it,
Tears strolling down as I scrolling down her page,
Ignorance was not a bless,
As proven, I wasnt needed,
As proven, life was a mess if I was in hers,
As proven, I was denied my existence as what I was trying.
As I reached into my pocket,
It only returns an empty hands grasping for your love....